Monday, June 15, 2009

Wanted: DOA

Wanted: Dead or Alive.

Now, before we jump to the assumption that said Black Bird deserves such a penalty one should expound on why such a sentence is valid. Back tracking to this past Friday night, Adam Lorenz worked his normal 12-8 shift at the shop and then was told by his roommate to meet him downtown to watch the Detroit Red Wings game. Since the game started around 8, he was already running late and decided to take his new bike out for another spin. The ride downtown is a simple trip that takes Mr. Lorenz down an access road along the 131 highway [as seen on the map below, the road being called 'Century Ave SW']
As he went under Franklin St SW and entered the final stretch on the road, he passed the only building on the eastern side of the road [as marked with the Red X on the map], when he heard a crow making 'it's normal crow call'. Mr. Lorenz then felt a slight tap on his hat, which he did not considered until he looked over his head and saw said Black Bird flying close over head. Seeing this he rode swiftly out of the area. On the return home later that night, there was no incident.

As Mr. Lorenz said in his sworn statement 'I really didn't think much of it until then next day when I was riding down to meet up for the Saturday night ride. My route to Founders takes me along this same path and what do you know, the black bird made another appearance.' This time hitting his head a bit harder than the previous attack. After this he took off as it appeared the bird was preparing for another 'dive bomb type of attack'. As Mr. Lorenz rode home after the group ride, he states that was much more aware of the birds presence and saw it perched on top of the building mentioned before. As soon as the bird saw saw Mr. Lorenz, he watched it descend down towards him, to which he promptly road out of the area.

If this bird is seen, be aware that it appears to be a creature full of hate for fellow mammals with opposable thumbs and the ability to ride 2 wheeled vehicles. Approach with caution, it is not armed but is able and willing to use force.

* Please note: portrait above was an artists rendering and riders should be on the look out for a Red tipped
BLACK bird [not albino as the picture might lead one believe]

* Please also note: NDJR does not condone or support violence against our feathered friends.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

Wow... It worked! I totally hired that bird to bug you because you NM is too awesome.